In the black tantalizing night,
There was a violent storm,
The moon and stars had disappeared,
My eyes were muddled and mind was befuddled,
A powerful gush of wind shook me,
It shook me again and again,
I felt like I never have felt before,
With the frightening pain I was thrown away,
I felt sore with numerous bruises my body bore,
It was dark and I felt cold and numb,
The first ray of sun pampered me,
I found myself freely flowing with wind,
Flying high and low on the troughs and crests of cold air,
With the rising sun I started singing and swinging,
I found many of my kind tossed and ruffled like me,
We all were floating away from where I stood for so long,
I felt librated and gleeful,
I had seen so many of my kiths and kins being shook and sent afar,
They all went away on similar journey to never return back,
Elated with feeling of freedom I persisted with my voyage,
I was curious now what next,
With each passing hour the sun got ferocious,
The sap of my body started dwindling,
My mind started flickering,
The inhospitable wind unloaded me,
With unsteady eyes I saw the sun going down far-2 away,
With each passing minute I can see it coming,
I knew why who left never came back,
I was one among thousands lying on ground juxtaposed,
We were moaning in pain and making rustling sound,
I am a broken leaf,
One among the thousands lying down,
Far away from where I stood for so long.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Auto ride in Delhi
Well keeping my mouth shut has always been a challenge for me. Most of the time it leads to situation where I find uncomfortable and think it would have been better if I would have kept my mouth shut. Last Saturday I felt a bit different.
I reached my uncle’s home in hope of getting tasty food, unfortunately it was locked. I knew I needed to modify the plan for getting the free tasty food. So, I thought of taking auto to my other uncle’s home. I was standing at the junction waiting for auto. One auto came after 20 minutes he asked for Rs 100. Generally I would have bargained but exasperated of waiting I said ok. The driver has to get the CNG filled. There was huge line in front of the gas station. But this driver was smart one he went from the other side talked with guard and persuaded the other auto driver to let him get ahead. I found the driver to be street smart. Then I started asking him questions such as how long he has been driving the auto etc. He told me that he has been driving auto for last 7 years and still he is driving someone else auto. He needed to pay 11,000 per month as rent for auto. Well I started calculating and told him if he would have owned his own auto if he had took the loan from the bank. One thing I noticed about him that he was very cheerful. He did not own much and have to work so hard daily still he was optimistic and content about his life. I told him to open bank account and start with small savings. He tried to explain why he was not able to and only reason I can understand he never had enough to put in bank.
While talking he said I can give you one advice. I was not sure what advice he can give to me. He told to me never be in love, even if you are in love never marry your love but listen to your parents advice. I felt bit taken back. I thought he was judging everyone with same parameters and he is being judgemental and rude. Then he told me his love story and the painful ending where he was dragged to court.
The next thing he told me he had again married and to the girl of his parents choice. He is blessed with two kids. There was a smile on his face when he talked about his family. Today was birthday of his daughter. He was actually on his way to pick his parents from the railways station when I stopped him in the way.
He dropped me before my uncle’s apartment. I took Rs 200 from purse and paid him. I told him to buy some gift for his daughter. There was a big smile on his face. Well I think most of us never are grateful even when we get thousand of rupees transferred in our bank accounts. But his face told me those extra Rs 100 meant a lot to him.
I am not sure that actually we all are running after the money we earn or there is something else we want to run after. It was just a momentary thought I saw my cousin playing and joined him in playing football.
Before sleeping I remembered the auto journey, I thought why this was different from other auto rides. Was it because it told me that loving someone is so bad or we all humans are capable of loving equally or how much Rs 100 can matter to people? May be all but one thing that was the most important if we want we can add happiness to others life whenever where ever we wants, we just need to see a face and think I want to make this person happy. If you don’t believe just close your eyes and think about your loved ones. You will know how to make them happy, for others whom you don’t know start with a smile.
I reached my uncle’s home in hope of getting tasty food, unfortunately it was locked. I knew I needed to modify the plan for getting the free tasty food. So, I thought of taking auto to my other uncle’s home. I was standing at the junction waiting for auto. One auto came after 20 minutes he asked for Rs 100. Generally I would have bargained but exasperated of waiting I said ok. The driver has to get the CNG filled. There was huge line in front of the gas station. But this driver was smart one he went from the other side talked with guard and persuaded the other auto driver to let him get ahead. I found the driver to be street smart. Then I started asking him questions such as how long he has been driving the auto etc. He told me that he has been driving auto for last 7 years and still he is driving someone else auto. He needed to pay 11,000 per month as rent for auto. Well I started calculating and told him if he would have owned his own auto if he had took the loan from the bank. One thing I noticed about him that he was very cheerful. He did not own much and have to work so hard daily still he was optimistic and content about his life. I told him to open bank account and start with small savings. He tried to explain why he was not able to and only reason I can understand he never had enough to put in bank.
While talking he said I can give you one advice. I was not sure what advice he can give to me. He told to me never be in love, even if you are in love never marry your love but listen to your parents advice. I felt bit taken back. I thought he was judging everyone with same parameters and he is being judgemental and rude. Then he told me his love story and the painful ending where he was dragged to court.
The next thing he told me he had again married and to the girl of his parents choice. He is blessed with two kids. There was a smile on his face when he talked about his family. Today was birthday of his daughter. He was actually on his way to pick his parents from the railways station when I stopped him in the way.
He dropped me before my uncle’s apartment. I took Rs 200 from purse and paid him. I told him to buy some gift for his daughter. There was a big smile on his face. Well I think most of us never are grateful even when we get thousand of rupees transferred in our bank accounts. But his face told me those extra Rs 100 meant a lot to him.
I am not sure that actually we all are running after the money we earn or there is something else we want to run after. It was just a momentary thought I saw my cousin playing and joined him in playing football.
Before sleeping I remembered the auto journey, I thought why this was different from other auto rides. Was it because it told me that loving someone is so bad or we all humans are capable of loving equally or how much Rs 100 can matter to people? May be all but one thing that was the most important if we want we can add happiness to others life whenever where ever we wants, we just need to see a face and think I want to make this person happy. If you don’t believe just close your eyes and think about your loved ones. You will know how to make them happy, for others whom you don’t know start with a smile.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Distribution of Mandhra
With dusk of Wednesday started the painful and tiring journey that concluded in dusk of Thursday. By then I was tired and fatigued. After travelling 2 hours in rush and mayhem filled metro, then travelling 12 hours in cold bus and finally driving 2 hours on hilly circuitous roads. I reached my village on a cold and heavy Thursday morning. I badly needed rest, instead I got the responsibility to manage the dhaam (lunch organized for masses).
Collecting the pattals (the plate made out of taymabal tree leaves, don’t ask me what taymabal is) and other grocery items for the dhaam was just the beginning of tedious day. In good old days we used to enjoy such gatherings as we have to only play and enjoy. But this time as most of my uncles was unavailable. The huge responsibility of the arrangement was to be shared by me and my younger cousin. We both are still naïve at the job of dhaam management.
We were surrounded by aroma of different variety of dishes that included the Kali Daal that is hated by my sister, the Peeli Daal that’s nothing except completely yellow, mahani the doctor’s prescription for many aliments, the mouth watering dahi bhala, kheer the sweetener and the most important and the king of all dishes the one and only Mandhra. The Mandhra is the main dish or lifeline of the dhaam.
The Mandhra is served by the most dexterous person in the servers. I have mostly obliged to be waterman, not because it’s the simplest job but it’s the job where you can make mistakes and people won’t mind it. I still remember no one shouted at me when I tripped few drops of water on them, but once I dripped few drops of peeli daal on one uncle, his face went from yellow to dark red in same time as the bikes goes from 0 to 60 in TV advertisements. I usually also take the additional duties of serving the glasses and pattals. With that I have dexterously played the role of cleaner and washer also. The most difficult job in any dhaam is to serve the rice, I had experience certificate of that job also. The serving of the delicacies like Mahani and Daahi bhalla mostly use to fall on my shoulders when my uncles used to get retired hurt.
This time being the most responsible I have to wear many hats and fulfil the duty of waterman, pattal distributor and Mandhra man. I was surprised to know that I was chosen one “the Mandhra man”. It was the biggest responsibility bestowed to me over long time period about 15-20 years. I can say it was bigger than delivering a task to client as you can fool then or being master of contest at the area level contest where you can cleverly make things up. Only the most experienced and well versed servers get chance to ditrbute the Mandhra. It was challenge as I have to deliver the prepared delicacy that was the heart of the dhaam in appropriate and elegant way.
I started very cautiously serving the Mandhra once in all pattals and was moving around to make sure that no one feels scarcity of it. I soon found out everyone wanted it more and more. Then suddenly my eldest uncle came to me pulled me in a corner. He slowly spoke into my ear the words of wisdom - the successful distribution process of Mandhra. The distribution process is different from distribution for all the dishes. He told me all other dishes are to be served twice or thrice but Mandhra is the king it needs to be delivered once and that also in small quantity. Never go and ask second time. Give it second time to the person only if he starts asking for Mandhra again and again.
I followed the words of wisdom while I was serving in the next rounds very religiously never letting the king of dhaam to be dethroned. Keeping my eyes open so I don’t put too much in any pattal and closing my ears so I can neglect the calls for additional Mandhra. After serving around 400 people and cleaning most of the mess.
It was the time to start the journey again. Driving back to home for 2 hours was really tiring. My whole body was paining and aching. For the dinner mom served me the Mandhra in one bowl with rice. I looked closely with discerning eyes.
Like everything that stands out in a group has some thing special in it. So does Mandhra that contains so many dry fruits, the fluidity and taste of Mandhra is increased manifolds by adding ghee to it and most importantly you get to just taste it and not to devour it. These all qualities together make the Mandhra so special. While looking in the bowl full of Mandhra, I understood the importance behind the calculus for distribution of Mandhra.
I got drowsy and my mind started sinking in the world full of great delicacies like Mandhra. Slowly and slowly I dozed off in the dreamland!!
Collecting the pattals (the plate made out of taymabal tree leaves, don’t ask me what taymabal is) and other grocery items for the dhaam was just the beginning of tedious day. In good old days we used to enjoy such gatherings as we have to only play and enjoy. But this time as most of my uncles was unavailable. The huge responsibility of the arrangement was to be shared by me and my younger cousin. We both are still naïve at the job of dhaam management.
We were surrounded by aroma of different variety of dishes that included the Kali Daal that is hated by my sister, the Peeli Daal that’s nothing except completely yellow, mahani the doctor’s prescription for many aliments, the mouth watering dahi bhala, kheer the sweetener and the most important and the king of all dishes the one and only Mandhra. The Mandhra is the main dish or lifeline of the dhaam.
The Mandhra is served by the most dexterous person in the servers. I have mostly obliged to be waterman, not because it’s the simplest job but it’s the job where you can make mistakes and people won’t mind it. I still remember no one shouted at me when I tripped few drops of water on them, but once I dripped few drops of peeli daal on one uncle, his face went from yellow to dark red in same time as the bikes goes from 0 to 60 in TV advertisements. I usually also take the additional duties of serving the glasses and pattals. With that I have dexterously played the role of cleaner and washer also. The most difficult job in any dhaam is to serve the rice, I had experience certificate of that job also. The serving of the delicacies like Mahani and Daahi bhalla mostly use to fall on my shoulders when my uncles used to get retired hurt.
This time being the most responsible I have to wear many hats and fulfil the duty of waterman, pattal distributor and Mandhra man. I was surprised to know that I was chosen one “the Mandhra man”. It was the biggest responsibility bestowed to me over long time period about 15-20 years. I can say it was bigger than delivering a task to client as you can fool then or being master of contest at the area level contest where you can cleverly make things up. Only the most experienced and well versed servers get chance to ditrbute the Mandhra. It was challenge as I have to deliver the prepared delicacy that was the heart of the dhaam in appropriate and elegant way.
I started very cautiously serving the Mandhra once in all pattals and was moving around to make sure that no one feels scarcity of it. I soon found out everyone wanted it more and more. Then suddenly my eldest uncle came to me pulled me in a corner. He slowly spoke into my ear the words of wisdom - the successful distribution process of Mandhra. The distribution process is different from distribution for all the dishes. He told me all other dishes are to be served twice or thrice but Mandhra is the king it needs to be delivered once and that also in small quantity. Never go and ask second time. Give it second time to the person only if he starts asking for Mandhra again and again.
I followed the words of wisdom while I was serving in the next rounds very religiously never letting the king of dhaam to be dethroned. Keeping my eyes open so I don’t put too much in any pattal and closing my ears so I can neglect the calls for additional Mandhra. After serving around 400 people and cleaning most of the mess.
It was the time to start the journey again. Driving back to home for 2 hours was really tiring. My whole body was paining and aching. For the dinner mom served me the Mandhra in one bowl with rice. I looked closely with discerning eyes.
Like everything that stands out in a group has some thing special in it. So does Mandhra that contains so many dry fruits, the fluidity and taste of Mandhra is increased manifolds by adding ghee to it and most importantly you get to just taste it and not to devour it. These all qualities together make the Mandhra so special. While looking in the bowl full of Mandhra, I understood the importance behind the calculus for distribution of Mandhra.
I got drowsy and my mind started sinking in the world full of great delicacies like Mandhra. Slowly and slowly I dozed off in the dreamland!!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Are we one
Under creaking old roof,
Cursing my luck aloud,
Bulldozed by the roars of clouds,
I saw you,
With rapt attention my eyes got fixated,
Suddenly there were only silent rain drops,
I felt that we know each other from eternity,
You were busy dealing with treacherous high heels,
Balancing like an acrobat on the wet, green, slippery path.
The straw stuffed roof harbored us,
You broke the spell with words,
Suddenly, the world around me was in uproar,
A hint of smile on your face brought world to peace,
Your words were in harmony with falling drops,
You shared memories of days gone by,
We unraveled the forgotten days,
Catching the glimpse of a master stroke,
Some memories bright as sunlight,
Few others draped by thunderstorms,
You may have thought it’s your Kaleidoscope,
And I was just another spectator,
Still I was fully aware,
We may have traversed different paths,
Thousand miles apart,
Still the experiences were truth of my journey,
As much as they were
your memories.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
When all went wrong
For long a bird had been caged,
Incarcerated by a witch.
In there fear and dearth loomed,
Only the pain of aloofness zoomed,
Life of bird looked to be doomed,
No one was to be blamed,
It was bird that got itself framed.
Reminiscing the beautiful day,when,
Bird was going back to its nest,
Chipping with its pals,
It heard witch’s mellifluous voice,
With superfluous knowledge of world,
Disarmed by beauty and grace,
Lonely bird flew to the witch,
Standing inside the cage,
With a flash of bright light,
Melodious magical words,
Witch immured the prey.
Unassuming bird first felt comfort in custody,
Then like weather day started to change,
Living in plight,
Without a single ray of light,
Tears vanished in the dark,
Cries and shrieks subdued inside bulwark.
Some days witch came to enjoy,
Watch the bird’s fight for flight.
Lonely bird fought,
With inner invisible demons,
Hitting the un-visible bars,
Smelling the presence of loneliness,
Jumping in darkness,
Creating scene of unfathomable madness.
One day in darkness of cage,
After the madness and rage,
Bird lay in red pool,
Witch was confused,
Never assumed bird to be so weak,
This was best trophy of all her barbarity,
She chanted around the mystic cage,
The shibboleth NO! NO! NO!
Words permeated through air,
Like the fragrance the flower,
The cage opened like a blossoming rose.
Suddenly from the blood,
Like phoenix rose the bird,
With whole strength it flew,
Fast as it can, Far as it can go,
The witch was tricked.
The witch standing in cage,
Loathing on her loss,
Uttered in disgust NO! NO! NO!
Once again the cage got immured,
In darkness once again time froze.
Incarcerated by a witch.
In there fear and dearth loomed,
Only the pain of aloofness zoomed,
Life of bird looked to be doomed,
No one was to be blamed,
It was bird that got itself framed.
Reminiscing the beautiful day,when,
Bird was going back to its nest,
Chipping with its pals,
It heard witch’s mellifluous voice,
With superfluous knowledge of world,
Disarmed by beauty and grace,
Lonely bird flew to the witch,
Standing inside the cage,
With a flash of bright light,
Melodious magical words,
Witch immured the prey.
Unassuming bird first felt comfort in custody,
Then like weather day started to change,
Living in plight,
Without a single ray of light,
Tears vanished in the dark,
Cries and shrieks subdued inside bulwark.
Some days witch came to enjoy,
Watch the bird’s fight for flight.
Lonely bird fought,
With inner invisible demons,
Hitting the un-visible bars,
Smelling the presence of loneliness,
Jumping in darkness,
Creating scene of unfathomable madness.
One day in darkness of cage,
After the madness and rage,
Bird lay in red pool,
Witch was confused,
Never assumed bird to be so weak,
This was best trophy of all her barbarity,
She chanted around the mystic cage,
The shibboleth NO! NO! NO!
Words permeated through air,
Like the fragrance the flower,
The cage opened like a blossoming rose.
Suddenly from the blood,
Like phoenix rose the bird,
With whole strength it flew,
Fast as it can, Far as it can go,
The witch was tricked.
The witch standing in cage,
Loathing on her loss,
Uttered in disgust NO! NO! NO!
Once again the cage got immured,
In darkness once again time froze.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Happy New Year
A decade! A year! Is about to come to an end. Few people plan to celebrate the year end while others are gearing up for a new beginning. With a new sun rise on 1st January people will find the end of old and beginning of new, wearing out of old memories and sprouting of new thoughts.
Is it so discrete and lines are so clear that we can differentiate between what existed 2 minutes back is no longer there. There is a question with in me, do things really end or start on a particular day or moment.
Isn’t it that in daily life we come across so many things that cause ceasing of old and fostering of new? Does one wait till 31st night to tell someone that things are over between them? Yes, I know a few who plan everything but the count is minimal. If we have to make amendments like changing job, do we wait for year end? No, we don’t wait we act as time require. Doesn’t that make the whole purpose of New Year so muddled up?
So why is this noise regarding New Year celebrations and new year resolutions, these promises are not going to be followed or kept till next month end forget about next decade. Doesn’t that make the New Year celebrations phony? My answer would be a strange but sincere No.
This is not an apprehensive No, but a resolute No. The lines might not be so much perceptible. The things not might be so rigid and disciplined to follow the timelines. The 31st might not be immeasurably different from any other day of year in literal or physical sense.
The reason behind resoluteness; on the physiological level for many people like me it makes a difference. We take time to reflect back on what had happened during last one year. We appraise ourselves, create resolutions to improve and make progress. The resolutions might not be followed till end of next week but they get imbued in new forms.
This New Year my friends take a hard look at your life as I am doing. Things might not be as great as we all expected, the goals we had set might not have been achieved in the way we wanted and the circumstances may have wrecked havoc on your soul.
Fear not the protracted length of journey and never let the languidness overcome your enthusiasm. The new dawn of 1st will give you a new hope and strength.
Wishing all a happy and prolific new year
Friday, June 12, 2009
Eternal fulfilment
What makes your mind suddenly blank, you try to speak and your throat is dry; whatever you do or try no word will come out of your mouth. This had happened to me many times with me. Yes, I am too young to be stuck by heart attack or paralyzing attacks. But it’s not a medical condition, it’s what happens to each one of us when we first time come on the stage. This is stage-o-phobia that we all face. A cool dude, kid, 80 year old when comes on stage things gets blur. What to do in these situations. Here celerity won’t help and simplest mantra in life to achieve anything and everything is to practice.
So, where can I practice? I had this question for so long. Speaking before mirror didn’t help me. My father stopped replacing mirror after he found 10th borken mirror. I was intelligent. So, I started to speak on bus stop where I used to catch the bus excellent outcome for me the fully filled bus I used to get on used to become empty and I can go school in peace. But my happiness was short lived as bus stopped to stop at my stop and my wish of for audience once again was left unfulfilled. I tried so many methods to get audience they always benefited in other ways; like lots of people started buying the ear plug so electronics shop guy gave me a loud speaker free and some people started giving me chocolates or other stuff to keep me busy and my mouth shut.
One day truth stuck me how extremely good speaker I am. When I used to go school in path one place where there used to sit lot of monkeys sit. I started giving my usual speech and all of sudden all the monstrous monkeys were gone. That day was day I achieved something I feel proud of. Still question was I needed the audiences, dogs were chained audiences but I wanted my audiences to be proactive, free and help me become better speaker. Not dull dogs covering their ears. So, I left the dogs, monkeys in search for my heaven.
One fine day I joined CSC and came across a club Toastmasters. I found it very funny why IT company managers want their employees to be toast makers. Different thoughts sprawled my mind. I thought definitely it would be a cost saving technique or we are not going to be paid well or are they making us more useful like times of recession.
I went to one meeting without lunch with a feeling first day they will be serving guest with free lunch. Alas, my stomach has to ache for 11/2 hours. And all what I thought was right they adding value to us trying to add new qualities that can be useful in recession.
Best thing is it provided me to fulfil the dream of speaking fearless. Not to be afraid as I used to be standing at bus stop with bloodshot eyes all around or conductor pestering me. With that they provided me feedback to improve and best part was I can also thrash anyone with my evaluations. Great feeling when you are depressed, simply become an evaluator. It’s the simplest and easiest way to be regaining your calm. You can easily pour out all inside you and no one question. There are no managers or seniors you are on equal footing. Simply go in meeting kick your bosses’ ass. What a relief.
Anyone of you believe you have tendencies or problems like me simply search on internet for nearest community Toastmasters club and you will get solution of all your troubles. I am live example believe me else come and sit with me for hour and you will know it’s true.
So, where can I practice? I had this question for so long. Speaking before mirror didn’t help me. My father stopped replacing mirror after he found 10th borken mirror. I was intelligent. So, I started to speak on bus stop where I used to catch the bus excellent outcome for me the fully filled bus I used to get on used to become empty and I can go school in peace. But my happiness was short lived as bus stopped to stop at my stop and my wish of for audience once again was left unfulfilled. I tried so many methods to get audience they always benefited in other ways; like lots of people started buying the ear plug so electronics shop guy gave me a loud speaker free and some people started giving me chocolates or other stuff to keep me busy and my mouth shut.
One day truth stuck me how extremely good speaker I am. When I used to go school in path one place where there used to sit lot of monkeys sit. I started giving my usual speech and all of sudden all the monstrous monkeys were gone. That day was day I achieved something I feel proud of. Still question was I needed the audiences, dogs were chained audiences but I wanted my audiences to be proactive, free and help me become better speaker. Not dull dogs covering their ears. So, I left the dogs, monkeys in search for my heaven.
One fine day I joined CSC and came across a club Toastmasters. I found it very funny why IT company managers want their employees to be toast makers. Different thoughts sprawled my mind. I thought definitely it would be a cost saving technique or we are not going to be paid well or are they making us more useful like times of recession.
I went to one meeting without lunch with a feeling first day they will be serving guest with free lunch. Alas, my stomach has to ache for 11/2 hours. And all what I thought was right they adding value to us trying to add new qualities that can be useful in recession.
Best thing is it provided me to fulfil the dream of speaking fearless. Not to be afraid as I used to be standing at bus stop with bloodshot eyes all around or conductor pestering me. With that they provided me feedback to improve and best part was I can also thrash anyone with my evaluations. Great feeling when you are depressed, simply become an evaluator. It’s the simplest and easiest way to be regaining your calm. You can easily pour out all inside you and no one question. There are no managers or seniors you are on equal footing. Simply go in meeting kick your bosses’ ass. What a relief.
Anyone of you believe you have tendencies or problems like me simply search on internet for nearest community Toastmasters club and you will get solution of all your troubles. I am live example believe me else come and sit with me for hour and you will know it’s true.
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